Relationship or friendship?

Now everyday I was keep seeing you just take the phone and press and press only..
If  other people dunno know was thinking you are chit chat with your bf..

I Duno know I'm in jealous or what..
Everyday we like a stranger..
I just like a mirror.. You just can see yourself.. But you can't see me..

Now even you not happy but the people that you want to talk out is not me anymore..
I'm ur bf but I'm look like nothing..
When I have talk extra.. U will use that kind of uncomfortable respond..

That kind of pain..
Haizz...
Who can understand me??
You got your friend to accompany you now ..
Last time you got ur  parent..

Now I'm got nothing..😭😓😖
Everyday my mind was just thinking you.. ALL IS ABOUT YOU...

Finally can meet you

Finally yesterday you are back to home...
when i start to see you i was feel like..
Wa.. finally.. i  was waiting you for four days already.. finally you are back

but when you wake up n get to see me..
your first look to me is not a happy face..
but your first thing to find is your handphone..

finally now i understand why last time you will keep scolding me to take the phone..
now i also understand already..

this time you back from johor..
i feel that our relationship was become more strange..
i duno is my wrong or what..

till night time i cant tahan ady..
i was go n ask you..

Me: This weekend you got any places to go?
She: Why?
Me: Because long time no see you already ma..
She:...
Me: r u not feeling well?
She: (feel like dont want answer me)? then very cincai say ; no la.. very tired only
Me: why this few days dont even give me a call?
She: call you for what? nothing to say also
Me: then you go this few days reali nothing want to say with me?
She: (no answer me)
She: can you borrow me you earphone?
Me: okay.. i go and take for you
*after i take the earphone for her
Me: can i ask you a last very old-fashioned question?
She: What?
Me: u go this few days got miss me or not?
She: is it this important?
Me: i just want to know
She: if got then how? if no then how? after tell you is it you will feel happy?
Me: then i was feel like "knives in my heart"

Day 3 without you

21/5/14, 10.29p.m

i have been waiting you for 3 days already
even just a simple call u also didnt do it..
i was keep taking the phone beside me..
i was keep waiting, waiting and waiting
i duno who i can speak out with all this

the most satire thing is when you are not feeling well  i only can get to know from your mother
WTH
im the one always last to get the information

maybe you are right.. family will be always the first to you..
i coming behind..
now all the thing that i do on last time will be teting in my own
i wont be speak out with you.. i dont want you feel suffer
i have been 3 days didnt hear your sound.. is 3 days.. do you know?

Everyday i was keep facebook-ing is want to see you got update status or not..
i want to know all the thing about you..

maybe our 4 years relationship is the time that all the previous sweet period will not be around again..
but for me is no.. whenever you are not around me.. i will start miss you.. i want to find you.. i want you to text me..
this are truth..
sometime weekend when i back to home i will keep taking my phone also..

报应

15/5/2014, 7.38a.m

你们相信这个世界上有报应的吗?
我现在相信了..因为现在报应应在我的身上了..
不知从何时..我问之间的话题就是等于没有话题..
现在的她就等于是以前的我..
我也不能怪她..
一切的源头都是来自于我..
我只能说的是..各位“真的要珍惜眼前人”
“她”可以说是我人生中陪着我一起成长的女人..
"她“教会了我很多的人生道理
”她“一路中不嫌弃的陪伴着我
直到今天了..也许是累了吧..
谢谢你知道今天的陪伴..
昨天我忍不住在车上哭了出来
真的不好受
我现在可以明白像当初她要在车上忍住不哭出来的那种感觉
因为我自己也忍不住了
谢谢你多年来的陪伴..你在我心目中排着了一定重要的位置了..
谢谢你..我的女人..

Day 2 without you

Today was a second day without you beside me..
i was feel like lost a something..
ya..when together will get arguement..but when not beside will lost something and suffer..

but all this thing that i will not going to tell you.. i dont want u feel me like a child..
not growth yet..
but i was damn miss you even just a second day..

as what i promise to you.. i will take care your parent till you back..
but what i hope is can care you and them not only this period..

hope you will faster come back la..

Now i only understand..
when someone are waiting the other partner come back is more suffer than the partner are going to other places for work..
now i only understand that type of feeling of waiting the lover to come back home..

Boring Sunday

Today is sunday..
Happy sunday everyone..
Today should have many people are gathering with family, lovers, or other else..
But im sitting in office now..

Haizzzzz....
How come my life is like this ah??
!@#$%^&*()
Fxxxking boring la..

Last time u know how to say other couple are go out during weekend.. but why you are stay at home??
Then now is the same case with me is it?? weekend im still in office also.. but where are you??
Haizzzz...
Sometime i reali... haizzzzz...

我应该多为自己想想吧

i know you are more happy when u are gathering with your friend now compare with previous..
actually that is the good thing..
but i cant control myself.. that time of jealous will appear in my heart..
when i hear that you are close with other boy.. i more pain in my heart...
but i understand the concept.. in the world.. that is just have the boy and girl only..

But.. i duno what happen to myself la..

be4 this i still think want to ask you do you think about that the future of us..
do you feel like want to marry?
but i know all this is just my own thinking only la..
all is just my own thinking only..
so i think better to think enough la.. dont speak out..

Let it go

My heat was got a kind of speechless feeling..

I was feel like want to cry it out..

i got no way to vent out my feel..

I was reali feel helpless

I aware that surround me was reali no a friend that can let me to speak out my sadness..

i was keep telling myself don't like this..

BUT i was reali can't make it..

When i was get sad that time i was think that i will able to handle..
but actually that is not easy..
Like people say..
when u love someone you can use one hour to do it..
when u get couple u can use one day to do it..

BUT when u want to forgot someone that are using infinity time u also can't forgot it..
When u got a feel as me..
That was mean that you are already fall into a very deep deep deep and deep hole..
On that time.. u was already inextricable into this hole..

This few day when i watch the Hong Kong Drama "Love Me Please Leave a Message"
I was wonder that is it i will like a leading man in the drama..
I was Reali feel tired with this type of life..

I hope that i will understand the meaning of this word:
"when something that are be destined belong to you.. no wonder how it will still belong to you"
But if i have never been work hard to maintain it.. is it still will belong to me?